hi again
sat 15/07/23
i have returned to the internet. i think i just keep forgetting to write...

my family went to england for a week and the wifi was awful so that meant i couldn't do much. it was nice though. i saw a heron and some squirrels.

i have to go into (city) tomorrow. my little sister is in a parade. im happy for her, but it makes me feel like i have nothing going on in my life. i'll have to make myself more busy. maybe i'll take up crochet or something. i've always wanted to crochet...

i have to get up early to leave tomorrow so i'm going to go take a shower. bye bye!
sun 02/07/23
i may have disappeared for a week. i've just been slightly overwhelmed schedule wise and haven't had any time, or any motivation, to write anything. i'm here now though!

school ended a few days ago. i thought i'd be happier now but i think it'll take me some time to adjust, i'm definitely feeling the lack of structure. i don't know what to do with my time anymore.. i've been able to do some walking though which is always nice.

i wish i still had a bike. i'll probably try and see if i can buy one this summer. it would just be useful to have.

it's very late and i'm tired. i'm going to go sleep now. bye!
mon 26/06/23
last three days of school.. i am Suffering but ill make it. hopefully. maybe..

school really sucks the life out of you. i feel like i've been sleepwalking through the first few days. pre exam terror has settled in very early this year and i'm already panicking, even though prelims don't start until january. i'm just filled with this feeling of dread every time i walk into that building.

for some reason i think blogging has made me more productive?? i guess writing down what i do each day encourages me to actually do things.

good bye all. i will see you tomorrow (maybe? who knows)
the sleepytired is eternal
sat 24/06/23
things are okay, i think. i've been pretty tired today and i haven't felt great, i think i have a cold or something, but i'm coping.

i think spending time outside today hasn't helped. it was 24 degrees (!!) today which is about the temperature when i start to really suffer. praying seasonal depression doesn't hit me as hard as it did last year..

i managed to clean my room today!! i never have the energy to do that sort of thing but i somehow decided it would be a good idea to do it today??? and i managed to! productive girl summer starts today i guess

goodbye and goodnight :))
do i really need to title these
thu 22/06/23
i listened to haley heynderickx's fish eyes ep today. i liked it. i really don't know how to talk about music, or things in general, that i enjoy. putting my thoughts and feelings into words is something i really struggle with.

this is incredibly cliche and cringy but music means a lot to me. mainly because my auditory processing disorder makes it very hard to step outside without some sort of hearing protection, especially when i'm stressed, so i tend to use it as an escape from the world. sounds can physically hurt, if that makes sense,,,

i don't know why, but i love the concept of blogging. you just write away about your life for strangers on the internet. it feels like sharing a piece of yourself.

i need to go cook something now or i'll rot away at this computer forever. bye :)
wed 21/06/23
i haven't written about myself in a while. life has gotten hectic and i haven't had much time. i'm here now though, taking baby steps. i guess you have to start somewhere? haha (terrified)

the hot weather has really been affecting me for some reason. i can barely step outside without being blinded by the sun and there are bugs everywhere. i usually love any kind of insects but i have to draw a line somewhere. i don't even live in a hot part of the uk. this is the worst it's been in years.

on a brighter note, i managed to get some painting done today (!!!). i need to buy myself some new watercolours, having younger siblings means that any kind of art supplies never last long. i make do as best i can, though, and i think it came out alright.

i bought a new bag recently that i've been absolutely in love with. supporting local businesses and all that. it's a lot more durable than i was expecting, i tend to carry much more than i ever actually need and i'm surprised at how well it's holding up.

i think that's enough writing for today. i'm going to go drink some water and possibly touch some grass (if i'm feeling brave). bye!