accidentally stabbed my foot. i wont go too deep into how it happened because its horrifically embarrasing but it's healing so that's good. i remember just sitting there yesterday with my whole foot in my bathroom sink thinking "this is the dumbest you have ever looked". thats probably an exaggeration. i have absolutely looked dumber.

im still sick!! woohoo!! i feel like i just have a constant cold during winter, i stop noticing after a while because i just get used to it. i can thankfully breathe still though so its not all bad.

though i may not be, my plants are definitely still thriving. i have a spider plant i got from a friend's mother in october last year and it's already nearly doubled in size. i have to keep repotting it because it just won't stop growing. it's inconvenient but i keep it anyway because i'm stubborn and like pretty things. i may or may not have knocked a succulent off my bedside table in my sleep once but i was able to salvage some of it and it'll hopefully grow back with time. i'm just glad it's alive.

i'm the only person in my family who's ever been able to keep plants alive, which seems weird to me. i feel like i'll probably kill them one day but for now i think i'm doing alright. it might just be luck. who knows

there's been a lot going on in my life lately and i haven't been in the best mental state. i feel like i'm at a tipping point, one day it's all going to collapse but i just don't know when. i'm left in a constant state of paranoia, i never really feel completely safe anymore. hopefully things will get better soon. this is probably just a depressive episode, fingers crossed.

i need to go sleep. i should probably be sleeping more. that will help.

hello world! this is my first blog entry in like. months. i had a bunch of old entries from late 2022 but i must have accidentally deleted them all when i was moving the site from one layout to another. sigh. but im back now!

i managed to wake up somewhat earlier than usual. by "managed" i mean i woke up with a headache and my throat feeling like it was trying to rip itself apart and physically could not get back to sleep but i'll take whatever improvement i can get.

today wasn't as rainy as i'd expected so i was able to go walk through some woods a few towns over. it was nice, i tripped a couple of times but that's normal for me.

i feel like today i've done more actual stuff than usual. i've spent the last month trying to regain my motivation to do anything, mostly with no avail. i have gotten back into drawing though, i'd forgotten how freeing it could feel sometimes. i'm taking baby steps back into it, but i'm slowly but surely getting there. it feels nice doing actual stuff again.

im probably going to cook something now. hopefully it actually works this time. bye.